I was really disappointed this past Thursday night when the University of Louisville’s football team got beat by Houston. As a rabid UofL football fan, I was hopeful that the Cardinals would be one of four teams competing for the National Championship. All they had to do was win their final two games against teams that were not ranked in the top twenty-five and they would most likely be in the college football playoffs.  But from the opening kickoff (fumbled!) against Houston, it became obvious that was not going to happen. Louisville lost 36-10 in a devastating blowout on national television.

I don’t know UofL coach Bobby Petrino personally. I’ve only met him one time. I know that like all of us, he is not a perfect human being. But my estimation of him skyrocketed in the post-game interview. Just minutes after witnessing what had to be a very disappointing performance by his team, Coach Petrino had to face sportswriters and explain what happened.

“We just got beat,” he began. “We got beat in every phase of the gamespecial teams, offense, defense; we flat got outplayed. I got outcoached and we didn’t do a very good job of preparing our team for what they were to face. But let’s give credit to Houston, they had a great game plan and executed it well. Now we’re just going to have to regroup and prepare for our next game.”

There was no blaming the referees, no throwing individual players under the bus, no excuses about injuries to key players, no whining about bad breaks. There was a simple admission of the facts and acceptance of responsibility. I’m confident Coach Petrino’s emotions were raw and he had to be seething with anger, but one of the most difficult tests of maturity is the ability to control emotions under pressure. In my opinion last Thursday night Bobby Petrino passed that tough exam. I was impressed.

We all experience disappointments from time to time; many of them more hurtful than losing a key football game. You get fired from your job. Your children reject your values. Your mate files for divorce. Friends betray you. A loved one gets cancer. Close friends move a long way away. The doctor shares bad news about a recent biopsy.

How you react to disappointment reveals a lot about your character and your spiritual maturity. There’s been considerable study done in recent years on the importance of emotional intelligence. Daniel Goldman and other psychologists estimate that IQ determines about 30% of a person’s success in life, but emotional intelligence matters more. Can you practice self-control even when you’re churning inside?

The Apostle Paul did. He wrote, “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body”
(2 Corinthians 4:8-10).

When you are disappointed:
1. Control your emotions. Don’t curse, pound your fist through a wall, scream, throw things or lash out at your family. Show some maturity and don’t do or say something that you’ll have to apologize for later. .“The fruit of the spirit is…self-control.”

2. Keep your perspective. There are probably a multitude of things a whole lot more important than what you’re upset about. Is it really worth making yourself and everyone around you miserable for days? How does your disappointment measure up to the tragedy of grieving parents at the funeral home or starving children in Haiti?

3. Be aware of your witness. C.S. Lewis once suggested pain is God’s megaphone. He said the Lord shouts to us in suffering. Pain is also God’s spotlight. People watch carefully to see whether your Christian faith is real or whether it’s just so much hype. Be mindful that your own children and family members are watching carefully and they can see what really matters by the way you react to disappointment.

4. Focus on your ultimate hope. “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” (Colossians 3:2). Remember you have an “inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade – kept in heaven for you” (1 Peter 1:4). A thousand years from now when you’re enjoying the bliss of heaven the present disappointment is going to seem like a fleabite.

5. Fake it even if you don’t feel it. William James is said to be the father of modern psychology. I wouldn’t endorse many of his views but he said something I agree with totally. “If you act the way you wish you felt, you’ll eventually feel the way you act.”

Galatians 5:16-17 instructs us, “So I say, live by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other so that you do not do what you want.”

Christian’s behavior shouldn’t be governed by feelings. Our actions should be determined by God’s commands, regardless of how we feel at the moment. Feelings fluctuate but the Word of the Lord endures forever. When you feel like expressing disappointment with bad behavior, don’t do it. Restrain your emotions and act the way you know you should feel. Rick Warren often said, “Fake it ‘til you make it.”

“The acts of the sinful nature are obvious…hatred, discord, jealousy fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissentions, factions, …those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires” (Gal. 5:19-25).

I went to bed Thursday night disappointed but rather proud that I hadn’t embarrassed myself with a fit of frustration in front of family and friends. And you know what? The sun came up the next day and I realized it was really just a football game and there are a lot of things more important to me. As the familiar song says, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.”

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