Occasionally people email me asking for my opinion on various personal or church issues. I recently received the following question which I have reprinted below, followed by my response.
EMAILED QUESTION:
“Bob, I was watching a program recently on Christian television where the host gave the following answer to a question that someone had emailed into the show. The question was: What should a person do when he/she is told that their Social Security would be lost if they got married at their elderly age.
His answer was: “A commitment is made in the heart and not just on paper.” He made reference to Abraham making a commitment/vow to God and it was not made on paper. To me, he was telling the couple to not get married on paper (so that their Social Security payments would not stop) but to consider themselves married (within their hearts), because he did not agree with the government taking someone’s social security due to the fact that they were signing marriage papers.
My understanding of the scriptures is that we are to obey the laws of the land. Only when they are in conflict with the Bible should we not obey the laws of the land. What is your opinion of this? I am contemplating getting married soon and my situation would be in the same status.
MY ANSWER:
This is a relevant question since more and more preachers are agreeing to conduct a “religious ceremony” for couples so they will be married in the eyes of God, but no marriage license is required. The rationale is that the government is now blatantly ignoring God’s design for marriage anyway, so we may as well ignore the government altogether. As a result the elderly couple can avoid paying taxes or making costly changes in their medical insurance.
To begin with I am told this practice is illegal in many states. As you mention, Christians are commanded to obey the laws of the land as long as the laws don’t contradict the commands of God. And that certainly includes ministers.
The Bible suggests that marriage is a spiritual and civil declaration of a commitment to be united to one mate. The Scriptures state four times, “A man is to leave father and mother and cleave to his wife.” A marriage is foremost a vow before God but it’s also a public declaration to the world that a new relationship has begun; a permanent commitment has been made. Jesus said, “What God joins together, no man is to separate.” And in 1 Corinthians 7, the apostle Paul clearly recognized civil marriages as legitimate and counsels couples who were married pre-Christ to an unbeliever to stay married to them.
Even in states where common law marriage is allowed, to fail to meet those states’ legal requirements for a state recognized marriage union would be a poor witness to the lost and a failure to trust God to provide. It’s also a rejection of the command, “If you owe taxes, pay taxes.”
Christians should be, “above reproach” and there should “not even be a hint of immorality” in us. If Christian people live together without meeting the legal requirements of the land, the world will scoff at them as hypocrites and opportunists. And understandably so.
– Bob
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